The holidays are coming upon us fast and this can be difficult for someone who has suffered a loss for the first time.
For many, the Christmas holiday is the hardest time no matter if it’s the first or the 21st holiday without that special someone.
Traditionally, Christmas has always been a time where family and friends gather to celebrate the birth of Christ and to share some time together, building memories.
When we suffer the loss of a loved one, their presence is missed more than ever at these times and the grief we are holding back can come on full strength. Many wish they could just “skip it” and wake up in the new year.
Although that may seem tempting, it is not something that is realistic. We can’t go to sleep for two weeks until the painful time has passed but the question of “How am I going get through this?” is more than our brain can process.
Family and friends may seem like they are preparing for a wonderful time, meanwhile your heart is breaking all over again.
You are not alone in your feelings. Christmas is a difficult time for many, many people, for many different reasons.
Some have no family or close friends, so it becomes “just another day,” while others have a large circle but can’t be together due to time and distance. All of this equals grief and longing on some level.
I remember the first Christmas in my family when my beloved grandpa passed away. It was Dec. 20.
After careful discussion, we decided it would be best for our family to have his service within a few days and gather as a family for Christmas.
It was weird that he was not with us, we missed him, we cried, but we also rejoiced. We celebrated the years we had him with us and we celebrated that he was out of his misery and in a peaceful place.
Was it the best Christmas?
Heavens no, but it was still Christmas and I now carry a lovely memory of us all together, telling stories and comforting each other.
Did it get better the next Christmas?
A little, but I still miss him and will until the day I see him on the other side.
There are many places that offer Christmas dinner or a beautiful tree lighting, or Christmas candlelight service. I encourage you to seek out something that is meaningful to you and attend. It’s OK if you cry.
– Barbara Bleiler is a certified funeral celebrant and advertising rep for the Grand Forks Gazette.