FOR THE BEREAVED: Letting it all out

Regardless of gender, there are times when we need to have a good cry.

There are times in life when we all need to have a good cry.

Whether it is because of the loss of a loved one or a circumstance in our life journey that has been hurtful or sad, we need to let our emotions and grief come to the surface.

It is often a confusing emotion for those who normally don’t cry and for those who cry more easily; it can make one feel quite vulnerable.

Keeping these feelings pent up does not make us stronger and it does not make us weak if we let ourselves express our feelings.

Crying releases internal pressure that comes from struggle. Remember the pressure cookers people used to make soups and stews?

If the little plug didn’t rise up from the lid to let the steam out of the sealed pot, the lid would explode and splatter the contents all over the kitchen.

If we disallow ourselves the release of this pressure, eventually something will happen that increases that internal pressure and we blow up.

The feelings we have during this intense flood of emotion can be disproportionate to the actual issue at hand.

This is because we have been allowing the internal pressure to keep building with no other method of release until all it takes is one small slight to blow our “lid.”

If we could allow ourselves to grieve in a timely manner, and have a good cry to release some tension once in a while, it would put us on a path to true inner peace.

All our lives we have been told untruths that make us feel guilty, weak or embarrassed if we cry.

Who says big girls and boys don’t cry? Who says we have to just “suck it up” and move forward as quickly as possible? Who said all that and why do we believe it?

It is healthy to cry. It is healthy to release negative emotions that are making us feel angry, sad or numb.

The next time you are trying to hold back your tears and just suck it up, remember that crying has a purpose. We need not feel embarrassed or weak for allowing ourselves to feel.

After all, when something good happens to us, we jump up and down, slap our thighs and show all the emotions of joy.

So why do we try so hard to hide our feelings that aren’t so fun?

You need to feel to heal.

If we are more honest about how we are really feeling, we have the opportunity to reach out and comfort each other and to be kinder to our fellow humans.

– Barbara Bleiler is a certified funeral celebrant and advertising rep for the Grand Forks Gazette