Now that the holiday season has passed, some may be feeling a renewed sense of loneliness.
After any big lead up to a tradition or big event – when there has been a sense of purpose or feelings of anticipation beforehand – it seems logical that there would be a sense of a letdown afterwards. But for some, this letdown and feelings of loneliness are coupled with a grieving process.
While we are busy getting everything ready and anticipating visitors or phone calls from loved ones and friends, we may have been enjoying the luxury of distraction. This can be a nice reprieve but most of the time it is a temporary one.
Now that daily life is getting back into routine, visitors have gone home and everyone is back to work and school, there is again a void for some individuals who were able to take a temporary intermission and allow themselves to enjoy and embrace happy and positive feelings.
For others, Christmas is not always a happy family time.
Let‘s face facts, for some families, the holiday season brings with it too much togetherness over too many days.
When a person is grieving the loss of a loved one and that grief is omnipresent, most can’t slap on a happy face for more than short bursts of time, so all the activity, conversations, and possibly perceived judgment, all add up to a feeling of exhaustion and maybe even some anger or paroxysmal sadness.
Patience with someone who is grieving is key.
If Christmas was a difficult time for you, try to focus and remember the moments over the days that were humorous or comfortable.
Most things aren’t all bad, so if you look hard, you can probably find some memories that are positive to reminisce about; don’t ruminate the conversations or perceived judgments that were momentary.
If you do, it will take away all the good feelings that were such a nice but temporary distraction.
Keep in touch.
There is nothing like a letter, phone call or email to lift a person’s spirits or heal a rift. Things will level out again and temporary enhanced feelings of loneliness will soften to more gentle emotions.
Be patient and be kind.
And above all, keep your faith that this time will pass, and things will improve.
– Barbara Bleiler is a certified funeral celebrant and advertising rep for the Grand Forks Gazette