As loyal Canadians we welcome the arrival to the third in line to the British throne – baby George Alexander Louis – and wish him luck.
At the current rate of ascension, he will assume the crown in about 2083 by which date the Empire – which only 100 years ago was the largest in history – will have shrunk to include scarcely more than England and the Isle of Wight, everyone else having abandoned ship in successive waves of republican fervour.
Still, that lies in the future. Today we remain proud and loyal subjects of the Crown and as such, should seek ways to demonstrate our allegiance to the baby monarch-in-waiting.
Already the royals have decided that each baby born in England on the same day as Little George will receive a commemorative silver coin.
That is a wonderful idea, and I believe it should be expanded. I think that every child born within the next 12 months who is given the names George Alexander Louis should receive a Wedgewood china place setting displaying the image of the baby king.
For those who are given only the first two names, George Alexander, a cup and saucer would be appropriate. For any child receiving at least one of the three names, an egg cup would work well. And since English law was changed permitting females to be royal successors, these celebratory gifts should be available to all baby girls named Georgina, Alexandra or Louisa.
Of course, only a relatively few loyal subjects will be able to bring forth a George or Georgina in the next 12 months.
Because of that, the royals may want to extend the opportunity to obtain royal china to those single persons or those beyond child-bearing years by allowing them to apply for the commemorative gifts if they agree to rename their dog or cat with the royal baby’s moniker.
A positive outcome of that royal largesse would be that neighbourhoods throughout the Commonwealth would resound for years with the future king’s name as loyal pet owners stood on their back steps loudly calling, “Here, George Alexander Louis!”
Finally, in order to be inclusive, the royal family might consider awarding other expressions of allegiance to baby George.
Often people feel alienated from the royals because of perceived differences in social standing, lifestyle or taste.
As a gesture of new-found openness, the queen might offer commemorative pins to anyone who has the Little Prince’s likeness tattooed on their arm or thigh, the size of the pin relative to the size of the tattoo. There could even be a royal contest to determine who in the Commonwealth has the largest, most ornate likeness inked on their body.
The queen herself could judge the men’s competition, Prince Philip the women’s. I am pretty sure the prince, at least, would be delighted.
– Jim Holtz is Weekender columnist and former reporter for the Grand Forks Gazette